Things that I wanted to buy but didnt... this week

• A bottle of Port.
• A Hair cut.
• A shovel and a bag of quick lime.
• Tickets to see Polar Express 3D at Imax

Shutting down for the (non) winter

It's been happening for years now, it gets to November and I shut down. C0me February cabin fever has set in and I'm not pleasant to be around.....

I think it's an allergy to fluorescent lights. They suck the life out of everything they touch, including me. I don't have any flooies at my gaff, but they are everywhere at work..... hanging there, bleaching my retinas and colour scheming the office back to the 70's...... throw in some Pine effect wall pannelling, the smell of damp and we're done (for).

An open letter.... to whom it may concern

As the title says, this is an open letter...... To Whom it may concern.

Of course originally it was directed at one person, but as I started I began to realise there was a pattern forming and that I was actually talking to every woman I've ever been close to....... and every future woman I'll end up being close to.

So, to save time and effort I've decided to blog it, it'll save on e-mail addresses.

I've written this e-mail a dozen times or more...... each time I've had to delete its contents.

I realised that none of it would of been useful to either of us. So I'll keep this short, and to the point.

Looking back on Sundays events has left me with a wry smile and a little bit of surprise. Once again I've let my humanity and trustworthiness of people cloud my usual pinsharp cynicism but it's a trait that I'm beginning to understand.

While the whole episode as far as I'm concerned has no real impact on the non-relationship we had it does affect the close friendship I thought we shared. While the world around me embraces a selfishness I only thought existed in Hollywood scripts I convinced myself you were different from the Camilla's** and Helen's'** that think this kind of behavior is acceptable and appropriate. I know my disappointment is something you and your friends have no regard for and in some cases will be revelled in. I'm glad to say that I'm not seen as "one of the gang".

I only hope that this way of thinking will give you comfort in years to come when people you have hurt are no longer there in those dark and lonely times.

As I've always said. You cant appreciate the good until you've had the bad. This whole experience can only enhance the good to come.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.


DD

** To most people, all names are fictitious, any resemblance to any real people is purely coincidental.... Except for Helen, who is real. She is also a drunk who regulary drives home from the pub and puts it about like a 15th Century plague outbreak..... and from what I've heard the black oozing sores are just as dangerous.

Failure...........

My daughter said something to me yesterday that had me fighting back the tears. They weren't tears of hope and joy, they weren't tears of disappointment either, they were tears of failure. A failure on my part to give her the love and stability a little girl needs when growing up...... What she said hurt me more than anything I've felt before.... and the scar it leaves will be the ugliest I'll ever have.

We were in the car, I was taking her back home and she said to me.

"I'm going to miss you Daddy...... not just tonight, but every day......... When I'm old enough to drive I'm going to buy a car and come to see you every day"

She's five years old..... she loves anything pink or with a "Barbie" logo on it, she loves colouring-in, drawing and play make-up, ponies, chips with red sauce and getting up really early in the morning to watch cartoons with me.......

but tonight she's having to think of ways to be with her Daddy....

---

Some good has come out of this, I'm now invulnerable to things that would of emotionally tore me to bits... How do I know this? I had a series of phone calls this morning, things were said and done that hit at the very core of my beliefs in love and trust. I waited for the hate and disappointment to well up..... but it didn't come, because its not important anymore..... and never will be.

Things that have bothered me this week

• Adam & Eve probably didn't have belly buttons.
• The possibility of using body hair instead of money for card games.
• There's a spider that walks on water, catches and eats fish.
• Chuckies car smells like a wet dog.
• Chuckie doesn't have a dog.

Fannying around with the camera.....

I decided to play with my camera's panoramic feature.. Unfortunately, this blog is too narrow to give it justice.... I think you'll get a bigger picture if you click on them... probably

The picture above was a test I did at work this morning

This picture is of the Wey Navigation Canal outside our offices in Weybridge

Blog is the new Black......dear

So Chuckie’s got his finger out and is now a “Blogger”. Well done…. But there’s a few things you’ll need to jazz up your bit of t’internet.

Flickr Account – It’s an image hosting site with tons & tons of features. The image badge on the right is one example of many.

Blogrolling – This is a bit of script and a website that allows you to easily add links to other websites. Very useful

SiteMeter – This gives you a visitors counter but also gives a myriad of info on who’s been visiting, where, when, why & how..

RSS Feed – Now, this is the button on websites that allows you to have a “Live Bookmark” either to a browser or a newsreader.

That’s the basics Chuckie, get these set up and you’ll be ready for some visitors.

Apparently, I'm not well.

A few weeks ago I blogged about 3 George Avenue, the place where I grew up. Just another entry in my blog, nothing special, no hidden meanings. I guess I was trying to explain my method of helping me relax, sometimes when I find myself in a quiet place without distractions I like to mentally enter a familiar place and let my memories re-create the location. Sometimes I linger in a "room" and systematically piece together as many details as my memory can spew out. I don't force it, I just think of a feature and see if any long dead memories emerge.... It can be a fun thing to do, it costs considerably less than a new Xbox game and less embarrassing than having a quick-one-off-the-wrist while waiting for a train.

Anyhow, that's all it was.... but my sister didn't think so.

She was worried when she read it, thought I was maybe depressed and was home sick.... I can assure her that I'm neither of those, I've been away from "home" since 1990 and have no wish (at the moment) to head north and the huge doses of ground-up Prozac I inject into my eyes keep the voices to a minimum.

PS: Neil, can you print off the one about the hamster and show our Susan?... it should make her laugh.... much better than getting all worked up over nowt and having our Barry call to see if I've been sectioned...yet.

Missing link.......

I’ve recently been “re-assigned” at work and now have to come to terms with having to “administer” Microsoft NT systems.

For me this is a huge step down on the evolutionary ladder. I now find myself having to talk to people who for some unexplained reason get enthusiastic about incremental backups, tape silo’s and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

If it wasn’t for my lace-up shoes my opposable thumbs would wither and die.

...dont wanna go out like Presley...

Goober
"The Hippy"
and now Dolittle.

Just three of the Miles Hunt support acts that have had the honor (and it is an honor) of being able give me instant goose pimples on hearing a song. So far it's playing in the car, on the work PC, home PC and MP3 player. bloody marvelous

Do yaself and your lugs a favor and download "Dont wanna go out like Presley" MP3 from the Dolittle site...... and while you're there, sign up for their info list.

Music drowns the evil voices rushing round my head
The music wakes me up and makes the tea and gets me out of bed
Music starts me thinking microwaves will cook my brain
And if she never calls me, the music will be there again

I take myself out for a walk, sit by the mirror have a talk
Confusion made a tart of me, don’t wanna go out like Presley

(nar nar na nar nar) Am I the only one?
(nar nar na nar nar) Like mother natureÂ’s bastard son
(nar nar na nar nar) I can hear it calling me
DonÂ’t wanna go out like Presley

Music tells the policeman its just a guilty look
The music tells the Jesus freak there’s nothing for me in his book
Music helps me to remember others are like me
And if she doesnÂ’t call today, music says just wait and see

I take myself out for a walk, sit by the mirror have a talk
Confusion made a tart of me, don’t wanna go out like Presley

(nar nar na nar nar) Am I the only one?
(nar nar na nar nar) Like mother nature’s bastard son
(nar nar na nar nar) I can hear it calling me
DonÂ’t wanna go out like Presley

.....not only that, but I think he's got a knife.

That’s Entertainment...

Not only is it a seminal Jam number but its also what you get in fistfuls when you go to a Miles Hunt gig…. And I do mean fistfuls.

If you’ve ever had the misfortune to stand next to me at a Wonder Stuff gig or a Miles Hunt gig then I can only apologise for the lithium starved, shape shifting “care in the community” gobshite just behind me who seems to think he has found the perfect environment to scream drunken gibberish either at the band or to his village idiot mate standing next to him…. It’s not someone I’ve invited, I didn’t ask him to come along thinking it would soften the voices in his head. The fucker is always there, always a different face, right fucking behind me…. Every fucking time.

It’s annoying…. It’s so annoying that all I want to do is lamp the tit and stamp on his face. But that’s not me, I’m not too keen on actual violence, I just don’t like being on the receiving end and unless the recipient is already unconscious then it’ll be me having his face stamped on. That’s why if you ever see me running and shouting “FIGHT FIGHT” you’ll know that I’ll be running AWAY and not toward the fracas…..

Anyhow, this guy was annoying, not just to me but to everyone around him. When someone asked him politely to “keep it down” his overly loyal mongrel faced sidekick would bark some guttural obscenities and lob in a threat or two for good measure. Not nice people, certainly not the type to appreciate a Miles Hunt gig. So… something had to be done, so I did something….. I had a chat to the barman..... a chat that resulted in them leaving very shortly afterwards..

Annoying fuckwits 0….. Miles Hunt Audience… 1

Result!

Zooool

There's something in my dishwasher! It's been there for a few days now.

I'm not gonna touch it. Something says I shouldn’t

It's probably food………. yeah……. food…….............probably.

It'll dissolve in time...

(oh dear…. Oh dear, oh dear oh dear…)

(it)

(has)

(a)

(face!)

Put down the cigarette and move away from the ashtray.

Smoking in public places to be banned...... Drinking on public transport to be banned.

All this and Mr Moore's post are more that responsible for the following outburst.

Hmmm. smoking eh? so, something that takes on average about 50 years to kill ya is being systematically outlawed by our caring loving government…. while in a town close to you a student is downing-in-one a £10 bottle of peppermint flavoured vodka followed closely by mindless acts of random violence and an alcoholic induced coma and death…..

But at least his clothes won’t smell (the peppermint will mask any vomit odour), he wont have added any asthma-wheezing dwarf children to the population and his sperm will still count into the millions. His neighbours food wont taste of fag-ash, coughs will be dry and infrequent and ceilings throughout the land will remain pure Dulux white ….. best of all, in his last coherent thought before succumbing to a peppermint flavoured death rattle, he’ll have a Roy Castle free conscience….

I’ll have to stop, all this excitement has me wheezing and my next oxygen delivery isn’t until the weekend.