Sunday, October 16, 2005

In this place.....


You never really leave home. Physically you may get in the car, on a bus or train with ya bags packed, but mentally, you never leave.

Sometimes, when I feel the need, I mentally walk into 3 George Avenue. I time travel back to those days when I really thought my life would never change. I guess I never wanted it to change….

I can walk upto that huge green wooden gate, left hand over the press down latch, right hand on the corner of the gate ready to lift it slightly as my thumb brings the latch up. So, many, details.

Visually check how deep the puddle is next to the kitchen extension, I go down one step, around the corner to my left towards the front door.

A quick glance to the left through the window, see if I can see me mar in the kitchen…, glance to the right where the dog kennel is, if the dogs are in there, then there’s no-one at home…. then onto the front door.

Sometimes, I just stand there… mentally… knowing that this whole scene exists nowhere else except inside me, no one else can see me, no one else knows about this.

I visualise a “Matrix” style 360 degree third person spin…. The kitchen extension, the front door, bathroom window, the dog kennel, coal house. I can see it in all weathers, dry, wet, covered in 4 feet of snow…. My brothers Honda 125, on its stand flickers in and out the picture like a scene from the original “Time Machine” film

This time I won’t go inside. I’ll leave it for now. There’s a myriad of memories behind that door, every one of them a scene that has me captivated as I try to analyse and make sense of it all




The song in my head right now is Big Country’s “In This Place”….



4 comments:

Joey Polanski said...

An invaryably theres that one starecase with the one step thats only a haff step either rite at th top or rite at th bottem which ya alwas rmember only AFTER ya alredy dam near broke yer neck takin it like itsa hole step instedda haffa one.

Been there dude.

;)

Anonymous said...

BEEN THERE BEFORE, YOU KNOW WHO!

Anonymous said...

always welcome back. always a bed. well, close enough for you to visit george avenue. Neil.

meljoy said...

I have read about your education system over there (the UK) and it is muchbetter than it is over here. Basically, if youdon't have the money, you aren't going. Because for th emost part, if you don't have the money, you don't have the education to get all the paperwork done, or the intelligence to get it done ON TIME.

I agree with your comment, responsibility is key. I did NOT come from working class or even lower class parents. My father was a effin doctor! His wife owned her own very successful business. They were raking in over 300k a year. I went from that and all the shit with my parents (dysfunctional family) and still manage to get up at 5:30 every morning to get my 'arse' to class. You know? Bt I have the Education. I have the motivation.

Most of these people her edon't. This is all they know. They know what they see on television. They see it as too far away. They would rather live in the ghetto, or have what all these big time rappers have. They see nothing in the middle.

I'm sorry for the tangent, I should write a blog about this... Sorry to bore you...