The Trouble With Tribbles.....

Scatter Cushions

I personally don’t understand them. I don’t think any man understands them. What are they for?

Certainly not to aid comfort, I always end up having to lob them off the expensive sofa I’m still paying for from a previous relationship.

Scatter cushions only hinder a mans life, they eat remote controls, they adore soup and animal hairs and seem to come in colours men cant see (don’t believe me? Then try an explain Mauve to any male with a modicum of testosterone).

They multiply quicker than Carol Vorderman (remember The Trouble With Tribbles?) and even invade the bedroom where they try to become one with the pillows. Why do we put up with them? We spend hours and hours being dragged from one tedious Sofa World warehouse to the next…. Sitting on thousands of cushion-less sofas until she decides what your opinion will be and how many years debt you should go for. You wait for 3 months while your extortionately priced sofa is stapled together outta two wooden pallets and upholstered with the skin of dead dogs only to have it obscured by lumpy glow-in-the-dark soup sponges.

I have no idea where I’m going with this…… I’ll get me coat.