Get off my telly....

This post is influenced by a comment I received by Pete Moore about abuse from minor celebrities…

Pete said...

Lynam called you a wanker? For doing a three-point turn? Well! My estimation of the man has certainly taken a turn downhill.

I've never been sworn at by a minor celebrity.

But I do shout "fuck off you annoying twat" at the TV whenever Howard the Halifax Building Society Man appears.

So, here is a list of the personalities that over time have annoyed me for various reasons and result in things being lobbed at the telly.

Jamie Oliver: No one has ever incited me to mindless violence more than this abomination to the human race. From his first TV appearance as the Naked Chef the fat tongued burger flipper has annoyed me. His piss-pot helmet and cheap twist-and-go (to hospital) moped and banister sliding antics just distract the audience from his poor hygiene and shoddy cooking abilities. To bolster his flagging career he’s sickenly chosen Children’s schools meals to champion. He made such a song and dance about it he’s managed to take an admittedly poor service and bankrupt it as most schools have had to cancel lengthy catering contracts with huge penalty costs. “Pucker mate, lovely jubbly”

Ted Rodgers: This fat jowled presenter of the atrocious game show 321 would have me foaming at the mouth during the mid 80’s. How many times did I want to break his stumpy little fingers as he mocked the nation by showing off his ability to do the 321 finger salute….. anyhow, he’s dead now.







Denise Van Outen: Denise suffers from an acute misguided belief in her own self importance and good looks.










Ainsley Harriott: Another burger flipper…. I don’t really dislike Ainsley at all, although he is nothing more than a cook and does big-up his part but I guess that comes with the territory of someone with very little talent. What really gets on my tits is his unfeasibly large grin…. With a bit of luck, one of these days the top of his head will come off while exhibiting his basking-shark like gape.




So, who gets on your tits?