Petrol ban for wearing a hat...

A recent report by MCN suggests that in future all motorcyclists will have to remove their helmets if they wish to purchase petrol…..The reason for this? Well, according to BOSS it’s so the cashiers can tell if they are over 16 or not..

Fat hairy knackers is what I say to that. There’s no way I’m gonna take the time to remove my helmet just so some illegal asylum seeker can see if I’m old enough to buy fireworks yet.

Power Ranger

If you came across me while I’m on my bike, dressed up in leathers like a Power Ranger , sitting on a 10k hyper sports bike would it seriously cross your mind if was old enough to legally shag your sister? No, you wouldn’t. I’ve a myriad of ways to confirm my age and identity: credit cards (you need to be 18 to own one), driving licence (17 years old to own one), blockbusters card and even a membership card to the local sex shop (and I havnt even begun to mention all the noises, grunts & groans I make while getting on and off the bike)…. But somehow this just isn’t enough to pay for a tank full of juice.

Quadrophenia

My solution is simple, if they allow me to fill the bike up (which they always do) and they start treating me like I’ve just been released into the community from a maximum security facility then I’ll simply tell them if they want paying for the petrol they can bill me at my home address as I slip my name & contact details under their re-enforced bullet proof window.

Today’s biker is generally middle class with more disposable cash than a Columbian drug runner, so why treat us like extras from Quadrophenia?