Last day at work, I can bring a toy in to play with!

I never knew I was so important..... although it seems I'm only important when I'm NOT at work.
You see, I've got to do all of the following before I can go on holiday..

• Set up my "out of office" notice in e-mail to let them all know I'm not here
  
• Record a message to say I'm on holiday on my voice mail and to say I'm not available
• Update network diary so people can see I'm not here
  
• Ensure that my "Activity Report" tells everyone I'm on holiday
• Find someone who can act as deputy while I'm away
• Have a complete "handover" ready for my deputy

Thing is, no-one emails me, calls me, checks my diary or even gives a toss what projects I'm doing. The thought of having a deputy is kinda fun, having someone around that HAS to care about what you might be doing.

Interesting concept, but totally wasted on me.