Oh...there you are!

Well, well, well....

How naughty of me. Leaving you all here on your own. Well, never mind, I'm back now.

Whats that? My long hair and beard suits me? well, thank you. I think it makes me look more, well...... hairy.

So where was I? oh yes, patronising my dwindling audience and dumbing down the overall experience to the level of Day Time TV.

Now, there's been a lot happening over the last 4 weeks since my last mistake brought me here. From deep penetrative sex to mountain climbing and beyond, it's been a bit of a roller coaster non of which I'm goning into detail about.

apart from the mountain climbing....

So, a year ago, pending my expectant hip operation I decided to climb a large hill in the lake district as a motivator to help me get well again. Well, it finally happened last weekend and nine of us managed to traverse "Helm Crag" in glorious conditions. Theres pictures to prove it too....

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

I must say a massive thank you to the people who turned out to support me. Sharon, Aaron, Pooch, The Brummnies, Pete, Kat and not forgetting Liz who helped sooth my aching buttocks afterwards.

PS: Oh yes, the summit.... well, Helm Crag has a very steep and (to me) suicidal sheer rock called the "Howitser". The ONLY person to reach the very top within our group was Aaron, who turned up wearing his work clothes and a tesco's bag filled with emergency rations of crisps and pop. Later we all agreed he was nothing more than a wippersnapper and had nothing to do with the majority of us being grossly overweight, 15 years his seniour and in need of oxygen.

It's been awhile....

and there's a ton of stuff I hould of blogged about... but havnt. But here's an easy one to get going with...

I've just had Em staying with me for a week and it's been a blast! From Bocketts farm to a day on the beach at Littlehampton, it's been marvelous!

Here's some pictures


Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

Dead Shoe at Virginia Waters

Dead Shoe at Virginia Waters, originally uploaded by Delmonti.

Found this kids shoe impaled on the entrance gates.... no doubt as a warning to other renegade wandering souls as to the fate held in store should they be found again.

It's not all 50 degree lean angles

Oh.... it's been awhile then.

I think the last 2+ years of blogging was more to do with Tramadol than it was about me. Since kicking the habit I've felt a definitive decline in spewing forth meaningless drivel..... its a small price to pay for a more levelled existence.

The Hip: is now more or less fixed. I was out in the garden playing badminton with Em after doing a 2 mile walk to see the bluebell woods in Hatchlands Park (pictures here)

Last weekend was my first real bike tour since the op. A 4 Day tour of Devon with an average of 200+ miles a day (no straight roads in sight)..... and it was marvelous! (Pictures here)

So I guess this is probably the start of the slowdown with blogging. No doubt there'll be the odd one or two posts, but nothing like the flood from the past...... unless it all goes horribly wrong of course.

Sandals not recommended

"Doing the shitkickers waltz"

No lights and a "Park" at one end can only result in either a mugging or a shoe full. A perfect venue for Strictly (celebrity) Come Dancing I think.

are you the gatekeeper?

These gates were found on my daily walk to work, praying to be unlocked?

Ballet & Brownies

I found this sad and lonely soul struggling to cross the road this morning,,,, still dragging its long dead comrades

NEC Bike Show 2007

Suspended by Stars

Last year I was given the golden opportunity of being the Drum Tech for The Wonder Stuff's 2006 Tour in the UK. That 3 week trip brought more emotion, experience and insite into how my favorite band puts things together than I could of imagined. From the camaraderie of everyone involved to the sheer professionalism I witnessed...... It was simply magical

I can only assume that to the rest of the seasoned crew and band I must of looked like a rabbit caught in headlights..... and for good reason, it's not often you get to work with pure genius.

Anyhow, I took an awful lot of photos, some of which had found there way onto the cover of the new Live double album soon to be released.

Just how honored and chuffed am I?

very chuffed indeed!

Check out the thanks section in the scan from the inside cover above

this sceptred isle

This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle, This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars, This other Eden, demi-paradise, This fortress built by Nature for herself Against infection and the hand of war, This happy breed of men, this little world, This precious stone set in the silver sea, Which serves it in the office of a wall Or as a moat defensive to a house, Against the envy of less happier lands,-- This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.

William Shakespeare, "King Richard II", Act 2 scene 1

Greatest English dramatist & poet (1564 - 1616)

I'd never imagine I would be quoting Shakespeare in this blog. But while putting the finishing touches to the above photo, the words to this famous passage came back to me. 500 years on and I really cant think of two better bed mates than this picture and those words.

Giant Cola Cubes

No Em, no On Call..... no sleep

750 miles round trip......................

to take some sunrise pictures of Bamburgh Castle

....and some very large Cola Cubes

The full show can be found here

Very important kettle news

So Emily has outgrown the local park when it comes to cycling, the next step was to find somewhere she can ride without having to deal with traffic. Not a problem, I remember the Lookout in Bracknell has miles and miles of cycleways for her to play on..... only this time I'd have to join her..... on my own bicycle. That of course introduces more problems, things like, can I actually ride a bike with my gammy leg? will the bike still work (it's been at the back of the garage for about 7 years), and how the hell do I transport two bicycles in a Ford Fiesta?

Ok, problem one: Can I still ride a bike with my gammy leg?

Yes, I tested my ability by borrowing the lodgers bike (sorry bicycle, if you know my lodger then you'll also know about his stash of marriage certificates) . Surprising enough it didn't hurt at all, well the riding didn't, but getting my leg over did (oh boy, that last statement rings true in so many other situations). I found that if I almost lay the bike flat I can straddle it then lift it into position... it looks just as stupid as it sounds... but it works.

Problem two: Does my bike still work 7 years on?

Yes. The tires needed pumping up, a little WD40 in a few places and new batteries for the lights and cycle computer and it was set.

Problem three: Fitting two bikes to a Ford Fiesta

Solved by shedding out £50 on a bike rack, which to my surprise actually worked!

S0, Sunday saw Em and me in Swinley Forest attempting to circumnavigate other cyclists, walkers, walkers with buggies, runners, runners with buggies and what looked like the entire contents of Battersea Dogs Home.... also with buggies.

Anyway, we managed to dodge them all but did succumb a few times to the loose gravely surface but escaped with only slight bruises to the ego. The important part was Em loved it all, and through falling off she also gained knowledge of braking and picking out a more stable route.

Like to see some pictures? well you cant cos I forgot my camera, anyhow, it's not pretty seeing me on a bike, especially in shorts (no, not cycling shorts, there are limits.... and probably decency laws).

Instead, here's a picture of my new kettle

Ganin' yairm t'tek sum pictures liek

It was a Saturday, no Em to entertain and the weather not conducive to silly lean angles so I decided to drive 300 miles to where I grew up and take some pictures. So here are a few from the small town where I grew up.....

Easington Colliery, Co Durham, UK....

This site was originally occupied by the Easington Colliery Coal Mine, when the profits were too small for the black suited boys they closed the pit. Now all that stands there is this monument to over 100 years of coal mining. It is in fact the cage used to carry the men (and equipment) up and down the south shaft... Including my father, brother and countless other relatives and friends.

The North East Coast.... From Hartlepool to Seaton Carew.

The Cage - looking south east

Seaton Carew - Beachcomber

a Beach Txt'er

Sunset @ dawn

I see no ships

Tate.....

Tate Modern, Yesterday

Fannying around with the camera.....

I decided to play with my camera's panoramic feature.. Unfortunately, this blog is too narrow to give it justice.... I think you'll get a bigger picture if you click on them... probably

The picture above was a test I did at work this morning

This picture is of the Wey Navigation Canal outside our offices in Weybridge

Zimbardo has his knickers in a twist….

Some of you know that I was a participant in a televised experiment back in 2002. For those who don’t here's a quick explanation….

Back in the 1970’s a top psychology bloke devised an experiment which involved a mock up of a prison (within a university) some students as prison guards and some as prisoners. He was interested in the inequality of groups and how it all worked… … to cut a long story short, after 6 days it all had to be stopped as the guards were giving the prisoners a hard time. It’s better known as the Stanford Prison Experiment and the psychology bloke is Philip G. Zimbardo….

As you can tell, I know nothing about psychology….. being able to spell it is good enough for me.

Anyhow, because of the extreme nature of his experiment Zimbardo decided that the experiment should never be repeated again and his findings will therefore have to be gospel forever more….. which comes in really handy if you want to sell countless books on group psychology for the rest of your working life.

Whiz forward about 30 years and you get two Psychology professors who are up for a repeat of the Stanford Prison Experiment except this time they would put some safeguards in so no one got too upset or there arses sued.

This is the bit where I come in……

While surfing the BBC website looking for interesting things to watch that evening I came across a web advert for a TV program. It basically wanted people to apply to the BBC for a “Reality” type program. I applied thinking nothing of it….. Few weeks later I get a phone call asking me to pop down to the BBC and have a chat with some nice people. After many hours of filling in psycho forms & stuff I was eventually told I’d been selected as one of the 15 participants in “The Experiment”. I ended up being a prisoner….. and no, I didn’t end up in the showers with Mr Big.

It’s been four years since the TV program (BBC’s “The Experiment”, 4 one hour episodes) and not really heard a lot from anyone… until this week. I had an email from Professor Alex Haslam asking how I was. He and his colleagues have put together a few papers on the experiment and had some interesting comments from Zimbardo who seems to have got his knickers in a right twist about the whole thing. It makes for some very interesting reading, although most of the “science” is well beyond me.

Explain my doodle

Doodle
Originally uploaded by Delmonti.

I wrote this on my desk (IBM don't supply post-it-pads anymore, they are too expensive.... and would probably cause the downfall of this great blue chip company).

I was on the phone to the helpless desk about one of my accounts being made inactive which in turn flagged me as a "delinquent"** to my boss. I needed this to be rectified before someone of authority sucked my eyeballs out and replaced them with hot toffee apples.

While on the phone my subconscious wrote a cryptic message on my desk in pencil then scurried off in search of sticky-backed-plastic and a naive harbour master.

Could this be the answer I've been searching for?

Could it simply be random daubings?

Could you pass me my Lithium?


** Delinquent - Past due; not paid at the scheduled time; "an overdue instalment"; "a delinquent account"

Our green and pleasant land

A Bank Holiday! As no-one else I knew wanted me involved in anything they were doing this weekend I decided to naff off on the bike..... You'd think the offer of a ride out into the English countryside on a spectacular summers day with a picnic would entice someone* to come along with me.... wouldn't you? (* female only, I'm not "new man" enough to have a bloke nestling my buttocks on the back of the bike).

A quick flick in the Reader Digest Road Book and I came across Glastonbury Tor, far enough away to make a day of it and in the right direction to find some exhilarating roads to master.

So, a 7am start..... camera, wallet, GPS and two cans of Red Bull... I'm ready. Thumb the starter, savour the growl of the Blue Flame exhausts and I'm off....

There's nowt like hitting the sweet spot of an apex on a twisty "B" road.. and my trip to Glastonbury was full of 'em. 100% concentration, 100% exhilaration, fantastic.

Oh, you wanna know about the Tor, well, its a big hill with an old tower thingy on top... you can see for miles on a clear day.... if thats your bag that is.

Pictures from the rideout here

I can see the pub from here.........

There's nowt like looking at big things is there? Doesn't really matter what it is, big things always attract a crowd.


So, it was off to Parliament Hill on Hampstead Heath today to look at a big chair. A quick stop off at Tesco's for a sarnie and coke, pick up The Hudd and set the GPS and we're off.

Now, Hampstead Heath is massive, so why oh why have a car park so small? Oh hell yes, have a humongous table and chair right in the middle but feck anyone wanting to come visit in the car... typical small minded authority's...... and stop with the environment argument, there's a capital city just down the hill spewing out lumps of carbon the size of breeze blocks...... Oh the humanity!