Oh...there you are!

Well, well, well....

How naughty of me. Leaving you all here on your own. Well, never mind, I'm back now.

Whats that? My long hair and beard suits me? well, thank you. I think it makes me look more, well...... hairy.

So where was I? oh yes, patronising my dwindling audience and dumbing down the overall experience to the level of Day Time TV.

Now, there's been a lot happening over the last 4 weeks since my last mistake brought me here. From deep penetrative sex to mountain climbing and beyond, it's been a bit of a roller coaster non of which I'm goning into detail about.

apart from the mountain climbing....

So, a year ago, pending my expectant hip operation I decided to climb a large hill in the lake district as a motivator to help me get well again. Well, it finally happened last weekend and nine of us managed to traverse "Helm Crag" in glorious conditions. Theres pictures to prove it too....

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

I must say a massive thank you to the people who turned out to support me. Sharon, Aaron, Pooch, The Brummnies, Pete, Kat and not forgetting Liz who helped sooth my aching buttocks afterwards.

PS: Oh yes, the summit.... well, Helm Crag has a very steep and (to me) suicidal sheer rock called the "Howitser". The ONLY person to reach the very top within our group was Aaron, who turned up wearing his work clothes and a tesco's bag filled with emergency rations of crisps and pop. Later we all agreed he was nothing more than a wippersnapper and had nothing to do with the majority of us being grossly overweight, 15 years his seniour and in need of oxygen.

The Plan (walking up a hill in the Lake District) Part 2

Do you remember my PLAN on walking up a hill in the Lake District?

Well, I've had to change the hotel as the original one is fully booked..... but at least I'm booked in! (to the new hotel)

The new gaff can be found here. It's called the Red Lion and is situated right in the middle of Grasmere.

Just to remind people, I'm doing this walk to celebrate my new hip...... and to help me focus on getting it "bedded in"

If anyone is still up for this walk to the top of Helm Crag in The Lake District, Grasmere

on the weekend of August 22-24 2008

the plan is to arrive Friday, walk the hill Saturday morning, get drunk Saturday evening, leave Sunday afternoon after a massive Sunday Lunch.

then feel free to come along. There's no need to book a hotel if ya don't want to, I'm doing it cos I'll need a place to oil the knackered old bones once I've done it.

The Plan

It's not certain, but I'm fairly sure I'll be getting a new leg soon (when I say leg, I actually mean hip, but effectively, it's a new leg).
I've not seen the quacks yet, but I've had enough, Emily has had enough, work has had enough, and anyone who reads this has probably had enough....
The only person who hasn't had enough is my Rheumatologist who charges £200 a visit to do little more than grimace at me half undressed and who fails to inspire confidence by asking me "which hip is it again?"

I think it's time to book an appointment with Dr Mengele again.

The other reason for wanting the opp now is that I'm the size of a small bungalow (furnished with a large unkempt garden at the rear) with less mobility. You see, as my mobility decreases my lard content increases, and the easiest way I've found for loosing the lard is to walk... (the distance I can walk without inflickting damage is rapidly decreasing, anything over half a mile now has me in agony).

and so to the plan....

I want to climb (walk) up Helm Crag in the Lake District about this time next year.

You see, I figure that if I have my new leg fitted at the end of October this year, I'll probably be fit enough to walk up a steep hill by August/September 2008.

I've chosen Helm Crag mainly because of a certain Mr A Wainwright's Pictorial Guides to the Lake Land Fells. A 7 book series to the fells (hills and bigger hills but not quite mountains) within the Lake District (North West England).

Helm Crag is a little easier than some of the other monsters and has a fantastic view of the valley and Grasmere..... all I need is some basic walking gear and the best part of a day to do it.... and a hotel to stay for the weekend.

I'd like to do all this on a weekend, drive up there, book into a hotel, Saturday morning walk to the summit of Helm Crag and spend the rest of the evening in the hotel bar celebrating with my new hip.... then home at some point Sunday..... after the traditional Sunday Lunch of course.

I'm gonna book a room for myself at the Waterside Hotel in Grasmere for the weekend of 22/23 August 2008.... although they arnt taking bookings for August 2008 as yet.

I know its a long way off (time wise), but if anyone fancies tagging along they are more than welcome.