Xylophones

"it's a me, Mario"

Super Mario Galaxy on the Nintendo Wii.....

Ok, I'm 40 and feel that an interest in video games maybe something I should keep quiet. It feels like I should be more concerned with appropriate activities a 40 year old would be into... maybe Fly Fishing, smoking a pipe or even violently slapping the wife.


But I never really got over the excitement of playing Combat on the original Atari VCS or the absolute thrill of Williams Defender in the arcades.


As I don't put up with the constant tedium of enforced companionship and its myriad of costly and frequent demands on interior decorating, expensive foreign holidays and soft furnishings I can spend a little of my own money on things I want.......



Just as well I'm an ugly fat bastard then, how obnoxiously annoying would it be if I were also devilishly hansom? Swings and roundabouts.


All this just to tell you Nintendo's long awaited Super Mario Galaxy on the Wii is magnificent. It really is a killer app. No wonder the Wii is still in short supply nearly a year after its launch.


Talking of Fly Fishing and pipe smoking, both of which I'd very much like to try (slapping the wife was never my thing, but what the hell, if she needs a slap gimme a ring), I've also got a want for a monicle. Sir Patrick Moore is officially now the ONLY living man to wear a monicle. If we're not careful, we could loose this ancient and slightly eccentric visual enhancement apparatus forever.

Beaten by a 6 year old...

I managed to get a hold of a Nintendo Wii console... along with a copy of Wii Sports, which has already claimed its first victim. Although Chuckie will deny it, playing boxing on Wii Sports put him outa action for at least 2 days with a knackered back.

Anyhow, this weekend I introduced Em to bowling on the Wii, not only did she pick it up really quickly she now holds the record on the console. It's not much fun being hammered by a 6 year old so I quickly changed to a different game, she cant be any good at boxing, I mean, she's six..... and a girl.

She now holds the boxing record too... soon afterwards the console stopped working for some reason (ahem).

Windows Vista..... or Dave's new girlfriend?

Hi, my name is David and I'm an IT consumer cow

Facts:

I know anything that is advertised in the media is a lie.
Microsoft products never live up to their hyped expectations
Microsoft products are grossly overpriced

So, why the hell did I buy Microsoft's new Vista PC Operating System?

Well, I didn't intend to purchase it, as most IT people know you never ever buy any software on its first release, it simply wont work. It'll be bug ridden, at best it'll just crash regularly, at worst it'll destroy any important data and attempt to reduce your hardware to a silicon paste. And you NEVER EVER buy an OS on first release..... The OS is the heart of your computing experience, it has a hand in every single thing that happens on that machine.

Anyhow, I was perusing the isles of PC WORLD, not looking for anything in particular, occasionally giggling at the enormous long queue of irate customers at the "Customer Service" desk waiting for the spotty herbert to tell them that everything the sales person said before the purchase was a lie and the only way of getting your money back would be to take them to court...... and if they don't leave in the next 60 seconds they will be forcibly ejected by the knuckle dragging shaved ape with the word "Security" sellotaped to his chest.

But that's not the point, this is...... PC World managed to mis-lable and price an entire shelf of Vista Home Premium (Full version, not Upgrade) DVD's.

Being a professional within the IT industry and working for a top blue chip IT company I did the right thing...... walked over to the queue of irate people at the customer service desk, told them PC World had dropped a bollock and had mis-priced Vista by £70 and by law MUST sell it to you at the stickered price....... Feeling very please with my self I returned to the checkout with my £70 lighter copy of Vista and bought it.

The manager wasn't happy, but after I'd explained to him that employing "the dangerously bewildered" on minimum wage to sticker goods worth hundreds of pounds was no fault but his own, and that Trading Standards could shut his shop at the drop of a hat if he refused my purchase, this had him smiling sweetly and wishing me a "good day" through gritted teeth.

No doubt the knuckle dragging shaved ape on the door has been trained to recognise me should I ever return and to remove my testicles with impunity.

Oh, and I guess you wanna know how I got on with Vista? Well, lets just say I'm back using XP as I feel being able to use my DVD drive and not having the browser crash every few moments is a bonus. On a technical note, if you have a system with Dynamic Disks then back them up first as Vista will tell you they are knackered and suggest you format...... not good.

It's a bit like previous girlfriends I've had, quite tasty on the outside but filled with disease and a passion to stop you doing anything you like.

The seed has been planted.....

My next big purchase* is gonna be an Apple Mac.

I'm done with Microsoft and Windows XP, it's just too fat and retarded. I spend far too much time, effort and money keeping it all together.....

MS have missed an opportunity with Vista and they are ignoring the home user. An operating system is supposed to help the user not be an obstacle.

It's time to move on.... but which Mac?

Don't want the Mini - its too small (expandability wise)

iMac - Don't need to buy another LCD display, and its not very expandable

Power Mac - It's expandable, I can use my own LCD...but I don't have £4k burning a hole in my pocket

*next big purchase. This is wishful thinking as I'm skint.

feck...

My PC's buggered.

First, my system drive passed away..... then the mother board died of shame. Of course, being in the industry and knowing how dodgy hardware can be when you really rely on it, I took all of my collective 20 odd years knowledge on backup principle and procedure and totally fecking ignored it.

So, I got a hammer and reduced my Shuttle XPC back to its component parts..... then spent 45 mins picking silicone and capacitors outta the carpet..... it's at times like these I wish I still had a wife to slap.

Sequent Computer Systems: Lobbing it in the bin.

Ah yes, I can hear it now...... "hell man, I used to work there!" and "hell man, they cant do that" and "hell man, haven't they dumped all that crap by now"

Whatever your thoughts, the old IS Computer room in Weybridge will be cleared out this week, to make room for a small coconut grove and putting green.

So I thought I'd take a few bad quality photos on my phone and post them up. I've stuck them on Flickr so you can add "witty" notes yourselves... and maybe even remind me what those off-white boxes were called and used for.

If you have no idea what I'm on about then thats fine, just bugger off and go look at porn or something


Click on the image below to wizz off to Flickr and have a butchers at the photos.