Mothballed

Hmmm. As you can see from the last post... which was back in September. I really cant be arsed anymore.

Shame really as there's been a ton of stuff I could of blogged about. I guess my therapy here is done.

So long..... and thanks for all the fish.

If I could be arsed.....

I think I'd like to have the 90's removed from history. I really don't think anything significant actually happened.

The music was awful, comedy was shite, video games lame and "Marathon" bars became "Snickers".

My disappointment runs deep

Oh...there you are!

Well, well, well....

How naughty of me. Leaving you all here on your own. Well, never mind, I'm back now.

Whats that? My long hair and beard suits me? well, thank you. I think it makes me look more, well...... hairy.

So where was I? oh yes, patronising my dwindling audience and dumbing down the overall experience to the level of Day Time TV.

Now, there's been a lot happening over the last 4 weeks since my last mistake brought me here. From deep penetrative sex to mountain climbing and beyond, it's been a bit of a roller coaster non of which I'm goning into detail about.

apart from the mountain climbing....

So, a year ago, pending my expectant hip operation I decided to climb a large hill in the lake district as a motivator to help me get well again. Well, it finally happened last weekend and nine of us managed to traverse "Helm Crag" in glorious conditions. Theres pictures to prove it too....

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

I must say a massive thank you to the people who turned out to support me. Sharon, Aaron, Pooch, The Brummnies, Pete, Kat and not forgetting Liz who helped sooth my aching buttocks afterwards.

PS: Oh yes, the summit.... well, Helm Crag has a very steep and (to me) suicidal sheer rock called the "Howitser". The ONLY person to reach the very top within our group was Aaron, who turned up wearing his work clothes and a tesco's bag filled with emergency rations of crisps and pop. Later we all agreed he was nothing more than a wippersnapper and had nothing to do with the majority of us being grossly overweight, 15 years his seniour and in need of oxygen.

It's been awhile....

and there's a ton of stuff I hould of blogged about... but havnt. But here's an easy one to get going with...

I've just had Em staying with me for a week and it's been a blast! From Bocketts farm to a day on the beach at Littlehampton, it's been marvelous!

Here's some pictures


Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

I make my boss look stupid.....

Thats the accusation I'm facing right now.... and I also dont respect my team members..... or something like that.

...and all from an e-mail from the boss.

The thing is I don't disagree, not entirely. I don't have any special powers to make my boss look stupid, just plain old "stating the bleedin' obvious" is more than sufficient to outline his inability to find his own arse with both hands.

and as for "team" members, well. Lets just say the ones I don't respect are the ones who last saw employment selling shoes..... or in more specific cases, counting bricks on a building site.

blah blah lar di dar...... we've heard it all before. I'm not gonna look for a new job, its far too entertaining watching the whole thing tear itself apart. If it comes to it, I'll document the entire HR encounter here, in this corner of reality I like to call home..

Musical accompaniment to this post: Morcambe & Wise, Bring Me Sunshine

Less than a decade to get to the moon...

I had to see it for myself.... I just had to touch it's alloy/polycarbonate shell before I could even dare to think it was true.

but there it was, shiny and new just out of the showroom. No dear reader, this item isn't mine and to be honest it's nothing special in its own right, its the huge hurdle the purchasee has had to vault to get to this dizzying conclusion of outright ownership.

Yes..... Pooch has finally bought a brand new motorcycle.

In recent years its become a running joke.

Pooch: "I'm test riding a [insert random bike make/model] this weekend"

Me: "Ohh...... gonna chop in that Brough Superior you bought in 1926 for a model with electrics and those new fangled pneumatic tires are you?"

Pooch: "well, you never know....."

Pooch on his old ride: Taken just last week

Ah, but we do know don't we..... in the 8 or so years I've been riding bikes Pooch has NEVER even been close to purchasing a new bike. I think he prefers to borrow them for a few hours then take 'em back to the showroom and informing the bemused salesman that "well, its nice but I don't think I need a bike with more than 3 gears"

Even the prospect of saving money by getting rid of the nice man who walks in front of his bike waving a red flag didn't entice Pooch to a new purchase.

So, when rumours within the bike industry surfaced that Pooch was about to re-ink his quill to sign for a new bike I almost bought an ounce of Old Holburn.

Of course no one would believe him, Pooch had cried wolf too many times (I'm sure there's a pun in there somewhere).

He'd turn up outside the pub on a Triumph or some other monstrosity, some of the really dunk punters would marvel at his "new" ride while the majority would simply turn away and tut to themselves knowing it was nothing more than a test ride machine.

But now......its.... really....... here.

Ok, so he's gone and bought a BMW (he's getting on a bit you know) but at least its cylinders are vertical and there's no attachments for farming equipment. I think it may take a few months before Pooch gets the colour back in his wallet, sorry cheeks and he gets used to 4th gear and a crash helmet not made from leather.

I cant find the compression lever or the spark retardation handle!

So, the bunch of backsides that I work for have decided that no one will be getting a pay rise this year..... not because people think their products are shameful or their services revolve around spin, lies and excuses...no... its because the shares are HIGH and will probably go down and all the managers are having trouble fueling their 4 and 5 litre 4x4 SUV'S.

It sounds like I'm upset, but I'm not, I've not had a pay rise in 5 years, not even inflation based rise. I'm just amazed at the excuses that are being used. No doubt next year will be "Sorry no pay rises as the company is washing its hair"

as a result of the doubling of fuel prices over here and no pay rise I'll mostly having "Princes Tomato and Sardine Paste" for lunch in a bread buttie. Lovely.