T minus 3 days and counting.....
I think I'm still having my new hip on Monday, "think"? Hmmmm... I went for a pre-op check up on Tuesday, all seems to be fine except for my irregular heartbeat.
It's so irregular the blood pressure machine refused to register my existence and it had to leave the room in shame.... apparently, "it's never happened to it before".... and "It's probably stress, what with work and everything....."
No-one seems too bothered, especially me, I think I've reached the point where I want it over and done with. And to be honest, it's not actually ME they're concerned about, it's more to do with cheap daytime TV adverts
I also had a lengthy chat with the Physio. She seems to think it'll be a walk in the park (with lengthy spells of screaming) as long as I stick to the exercises.
On a good note she did say I'd be able to resume sexual relations within 3-4 weeks after surgery...... which was very nice of her to offer but I suggested we should start dating first then see how things progress.... I mean, how could I possibly feel secure with someone who seemingly offers sex to everyone post hip replacement?
There's still a question on how I go about certain bodily functions, putting on socks/shoes, dealing with steps, getting in/out of cars, shopping, cooking and generally not ending up a stinking mass of congealed excrement jammed in a corner of the flat for a prolonged period of time.
I can see several positive creative "challenges" coming my way in the next few weeks!
Oh, it looks like I'll be finally getting my new automatic car soon. Delivery is set for the 19th of November..... 2 weeks into my 6 weeks of an enforced driving ban... Lovely. I can sit and watch "The Lodger" wave and drive off in my car.
It's so irregular the blood pressure machine refused to register my existence and it had to leave the room in shame.... apparently, "it's never happened to it before".... and "It's probably stress, what with work and everything....."
No-one seems too bothered, especially me, I think I've reached the point where I want it over and done with. And to be honest, it's not actually ME they're concerned about, it's more to do with cheap daytime TV adverts
I also had a lengthy chat with the Physio. She seems to think it'll be a walk in the park (with lengthy spells of screaming) as long as I stick to the exercises.
On a good note she did say I'd be able to resume sexual relations within 3-4 weeks after surgery...... which was very nice of her to offer but I suggested we should start dating first then see how things progress.... I mean, how could I possibly feel secure with someone who seemingly offers sex to everyone post hip replacement?
There's still a question on how I go about certain bodily functions, putting on socks/shoes, dealing with steps, getting in/out of cars, shopping, cooking and generally not ending up a stinking mass of congealed excrement jammed in a corner of the flat for a prolonged period of time.
I can see several positive creative "challenges" coming my way in the next few weeks!
Oh, it looks like I'll be finally getting my new automatic car soon. Delivery is set for the 19th of November..... 2 weeks into my 6 weeks of an enforced driving ban... Lovely. I can sit and watch "The Lodger" wave and drive off in my car.
3 comments:
yer get one of those old people scooters!! You'll look like Davros from the Darleks, you're already half way there.
Let me know if anything changes, i'm crossing everything for you.......but i'm likely to pass out at any mo......
Woo Hoo! Once the pain is over you're gonna be a new man. This was awfully funny for a scared guy, maybe extreme bodily injury suits you Dave.
Ok checklist for next week:
1.Change all the locks
2.Move 2 new wives in (yes you're right - that "new wife smell" and "bobbing for diamonds" does it for me)
3.Put up For Sale sign and leave country with proceeds (after taking your bike round the block a few times)
4.Charge battery for yer scooter (that used to belong to Josh)
5.Decide it's all been a big mistake and come and pick ya up (in your new car) :-)
Best of luck mate!
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