Sushi'ed

Monday 18th February.

Is fast approaching. This will be the day I get my hip resurfacing done. Hurrah!

Of course I'm not looking forward to.... errrm, well...... a multitude of wild and mostly unpleasant experiences. Of course it's all for the greater good, but it simply wouldn't be ME if I didn't stick the knife in (pun intended) and grind away at the bits medical professionals put in the file marked "This may be a little bit uncomfortable Mr Dawson".

Now, lets get this phrase into context. "This may be a little bit uncomfortable Mr Dawson"

A quick Google for "Uncomfortable" pulls up this definition:

providing or experiencing physical discomfort; "an uncomfortable chair"; "an
uncomfortable day in the hot sun"

Yes, that's it, an uncomfortable chair or a day in the hot sun.. That would be my definition too. Which makes me wonder just what the feck these doctors are sitting on at home and how often they are holidaying in Death Valley.

There's just no mention ANYWHERE of jamming a tube up ya japs eye then inflating a large balloon inside your bladder...... Nor the mental anguish and anticipation of being wide awake when its removed. It's just something I don't equate to sitting on a lumpy sofa. I would imagine the orderly who drew the short straw (pun not intended) would agree.




Another "uncomfortable" situation the doctors would like me to experience is walking the length of the room just HOURS after being filleted, drilled, rivited, welded, knifed, stabbed, stapled, stitched and punched until unconscious. They say it's to get the circulation going again, but I would suggest the blood sodden dressing and the rivulets of claret matted with my leg hair would be evidence enough my circulation is coping fine.

All this while screaming like a girl for my mother is not something I'd ever imagine doing after a day in the Hartlepool Sun.

Anyhow, I'd just like to take this opportunity to let people know that should I kark it on the table all my worldly goods and numerous insurance policies should be used to pay off my debts and the left over be put into trust for Emily....... The rest of the Dawson family can get knotted, I know that sounds ungrateful, ignorant, uncaring and selfish but does reciprocate the general attitude experienced over the last 15 years.

Obviously, that's not gonna happen, so If you are reading this Sis/Bro/Dad then instead of getting all "How very dare you" on me just think on who's got the most healthy kidneys for transplant should you need one.

This could be the very last entry before my Op..... or ever. So, if you're still reading this, and have NEVER commented before then please leave a message... you don't even need to sign up to anything, just leave it as anonymous.

Love light and happiness.

David...