The Last....
I have nothing of interest to say, I understand thats never stopped me before, but for some reason I feel the urge to post something here........ and I need an alternative to the grinding tedium of enforced labour I'm currently experiencing.
The most interesting thing I have to do today is have the tires on my evil Ford Fiesta balanced.... Not even the Buggles "Living in the plastic age" can bring my outta this tedious mood. Anyhow, to try and get some human response (even if it is virtual) I've concocted a LIST of "The Last.."...
Rules are simple, there arnt any. But if you're the type that needs some sort of structure then this should help.
Copy the list below, add your name at the top, delete any previous responses then post back here so we can all attempt to deduce your bank account details, social security number and whether or not you need professional help.
Here goes....
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My Name is Dave, and I'm a blogger and I'm male
The Last.....
person you punched.
Paul Robinson. We were both 11 years old. He was gonna beat me up, so I lamped him one while he was taking his pullover off
haircut, how much was it
£16 with a £4 tip
time you thought you were gonna die
I was about 11 years old. I got hit in the head with a flying bolt that Paul Robinson threw at me. I've still never seen so much claret....... or anytime I fly
holiday
Bike Trip to Wales last month
flowers you sent/received
Sent: 2 or 3 years ago, probably to Bebe. Received: Never
album/single/song you bought (and how, store, download, bribe?)
Buggles: Plastic Age. Downloaded
paid job you had
Drum Tech, The Wonder Stuff Tour 2006
alcoholic drink you had
Bulmers Cider, 2 days ago
bowel movement
Yesterday..... but there's still some questions left, you never know!
Kiss
Romantic: probably 2 years ago.
Stitch (either cosmetic, accident, or self prescribed (like Rambo))
Never! not even the flying bolt resulted in stitches (just butterfly clips)
time you cheated on a loved one
Never, not once.... mostly cos I'm bloody ugly and never get propositioned
lie you told your boss
30 seconds ago. He saw the blogger editor! I simply picked up a pen, threw it down the walkway and said "FETCH". Works everytime
time you felt that initial "I'm in love!" feeling
1000 years ago
pair of shoes you bought
I have a feeling it was about 3 years ago.
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13 comments:
I cant believe that living with John your last passionate kiss was 2 years ago! And surely there's at least little love involved with it all?
The bolt in the head, have you checked it has been removed? I take it that bolt was part of the saga between you and that fella which included that fight where you lumped him before he got his jumper off. A moment of genius I might add.
Do you actually know what this fella's beef was with you? I remember in 'those days' kids just wanted to someone to pick on and it often seemed to be me.
Dont think I can do one of these lists as it will make me feel worse!!
Paul Robinson. No idea. I think it was just what kids did then.
Kiss: John just wants cash in exchange.
Chux: Get off ya big fat arse and get typing
OK - you've got me! Here goes...
My Name is Pete, and I'm a blogger and I'm male
The Last.....
Person you punched:
Phil Finch - a guy in my office; about 10 minutes ago! He told me that the new piece of software I'd just distributed didn't work, but I proved it did and then punched him (lightly) on the arm when he realised he'd used the wrong password because he hadn't read my email properly. And he's in PC support...!!
Haircut, how much was it?
Saturday afternoon. £8.50. No tip. Why should I? I'm paying for the bloody haircut, aren't I?
Time you thought you were gonna die:
Age 16. Cycling to Chertsey station with my mate Sean, to catch the train to college in Egham. While we were going along, I got too close to his bike; the brake lever of my bike got caught on his pannier and as he drew away from me my handlebars twisted, depositing me on the road. An 18-wheeler artic lorry missed my head by about 3 inches. I laid on the ground and looked up just as a nun (from the adjacent Catholic school) arrived on the scene to check I was OK. My fist thought was that I was in heaven and our baptist minister had got it wrong!
Holiday:
A long weekend in Dorset for our honeymoon in June.
Flowers you sent/received:
Sent - Errr... Can't remember! That's very bad!
Received - My sister sent us a lovely orchid when we moved into our house in March.
Album/single/song you bought (and how, store, download, bribe?):
Either the new Cherry Ghost CD which I ordered from Amazon, but which hasn't arrived yet, or a George Melly compilation which I got in HMV last week.
Paid job you had:
The only thing I've been paid for over the last 20 years is being an Oracle DBA. Which is a bit sad.
Alcoholic drink you had:
A can of Boddingtons. On Sunday afternoon.
Bowel movement:
This morning (I really can't believe this question) while reading the new edition of "Inside United" magazine.
Kiss
Romantic: This morning, half asleep, as My Lovely Wife left for work.
Stitch (either cosmetic, accident, or self prescribed (like Rambo)):
Never had a stitch, nor a plaster cast.
Time you cheated on a loved one:
A few years ago, when I was between wives, I was seeing a, erm, person who was a bit psycho. I wouldn't be surprised if she was seeing other people, so I didn't restrict myself either.
Lie you told your boss:
"Yes, of course I've got plenty of work to be getting on with".
Time you felt that initial "I'm in love!" feeling:
About 4 years ago, with regular top-ups since.
Pair of shoes you bought:
Yesterday. Green canvas deck shoes from Next. £7 in the sales. Bargain!
pt: deck shoes? is that something to do with Powerpoint?
Deck shoes are like Ant shoes.
You can tell which is which 'cos Ant is on the left and deck is on the right.
Do you think Dick and Dom have a range of footwear?
Or a range of contraceptives? Not called condoms, but DickDoms!
If I had loads of readers I'd ban you for those last two comments
My Name is Goober, and I'm not a blogger, I have no rants left.....
The Last.....
person you punched.
A guy who crashed into my step sons car while drunk (long story)
haircut, how much was it ?
Last night Free (shave)
time you thought you were gonna die ?
It was a year ago I hitched a lift with 2 young lads from Darlington in a very fast car with 2 drain pipes for exausts.
holiday ?
Royal Hotel Scarborough Last year, same room for the last 4 years
flowers you sent/received
Sent: Feb 14th Jan. Received: No
album/single/song you bought (and how, store, download, bribe?)
Best of the Undertones Ebay.
paid job you had
Yesterday Sunderland to Dunfirmline and back...
alcoholic drink you had
December 2006 Wonderstuff gig in London..
bowel movement
Today about 9:35
Kiss
When Jan went to Newcastle about 4 mins ago.
Stitch (either cosmetic, accident, or self prescribed (like Rambo))
Never!
time you cheated on a loved one
Never....Never....
lie you told your boss ?
I'm just in Wolverhampton looking for the Ford garage Mate....2 Days ago....
time you felt that initial "I'm in love!" feeling
Driving a new Audi TT 3.0 .....
pair of shoes you bought
Last week Converse black and white baseball boots.....
Goober, if you were in Dunfermline you should have given me a call. I live there.
Nobody has ever sent you FLOWERS? What is wrong with the women in your country (no offense to any of the women in your country...but jeez!)
My Name is Jo, and I'm a blogger and I'm female
The Last.....
Person you punched:
I've never punched anybody ever. Except in dreams. Something to do with repression.
Haircut, how much was it?
About three weeks ago. £15. No tip because I didn't have any cash, so I'll make up for it next time.
Time you thought you were gonna die:
On the way home from Glastonbury - June 1995. Our car engine had blown up when we arrived at the festival, so we had to get home in a tow truck, along with another couple of people. It was about 3am and everyone else was asleep - including the driver at some points in the journey. I had to stay awake to talk to him, but he definitely nodded off now and again and we came dangerously close to leaving the motorway.
Holiday:
Pembrokeshire last week.
Flowers you sent/received:
Sent - I sent a lovely orchid to my brother and sister-in-law when they moved into their house in March.
Received - a couple of years ago from a work colleague as a thank you. I buy my own these days...
Album/single/song you bought (and how, store, download, bribe?):
Green Day: American Idiot - downloaded for Thomas.
Paid job you had:
European Online Commerce Operations Manager at Electronic Arts. (yawn)
Alcoholic drink you had:
A glass of white wine at an Indian restaurant last night.
Bowel movement:
This morning (that's all the detail I have for you)
Kiss
Platonic: Saturday - my Mum
Romantic: I actually can't remember, dammit, it's been that long.
Stitch (either cosmetic, accident, or self prescribed (like Rambo)):
Childbirth. 11 years ago. Enough said.
Time you cheated on a loved one:
Never. But I've known lots of cheats...
Lie you told your boss:
I don't need to lie to my current boss, so the last time I did was quite a while ago and was probably "I won't be in today because I'm not well".
Time you felt that initial "I'm in love!" feeling:
So, so long ago that thinking about it makes me sad.
Pair of shoes you bought:
Beautiful bright red sandals from eBay a couple of weeks ago. I haven't worn them yet because I have to paint my toenails a matching colour. It's so complicated being a girl!
My Name is Russ, and I'm a blogger and I'm male
The Last.....
person you punched.
Kevin Allsopp when aged about 14. I once swung for my sister-in-law but I was so drunk I missed, something I have regretted ever since.
haircut, how much was it
My sister-in-law (not the same one I swung for I hasten to add) is a rather excellent hairdresser and I have therefore not paid for a haircut for longer than I care to remember.
time you thought you were gonna die
On a plane flying out of JFK when the entire cabin crew started running to the back of the plane screaming something akin to "oh shit!" a smoke billowed from the air con system.
holiday
Last week spent refitting our bathroom
flowers you sent/received
Sent: Feb 14th to my better half. Received: Feb 14th from my better half
album/single/song you bought (and how, store, download, bribe?)
Buggles: Bill Nelson's Red Noise "Sound On Sound". Bought fom e-bay
paid job you had
Guitar Tech, Damien Dempsey late July 2007
alcoholic drink you had
Hobsons Town Crier on Mionday night while watching the mighty Hibees whop the Jambos.
bowel movement
This morning around 6am. Next one due very soon I think.
Kiss
This morning about 7.50am
Stitch (either cosmetic, accident, or self prescribed (like Rambo))
In my head which was split open playing Laser Quest at Ketting Leisure Centre while on tour in 1993
time you cheated on a loved one
A long, long, long time ago...
lie you told your boss
Yesterday in order to avoid having to haul my ass into this dull office for a couple of days next week
time you felt that initial "I'm in love!" feeling
Over and over and over and over...
pair of shoes you bought
A pair of Ben Sherman corduroy Desert Boots yesterday
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