Friday, May 05, 2006

Near 40 year old draws cock on ballot paper.....

Yes I know, it's not big and its not clever...... but it is.... me.

Yesterday was Local Elections day, a day when you get to vote for the person you want in control at the local council offices.

Normally, I don't like to vote as it just encourages them (politicians that is), but it was sunny and I could pop into the pub on the way.... I would need a few pints to put me in the mood.

So, I sit down with a pint of Landlord and begin reading a piece in the Express about the General Strike that took place 80 years ago to the day.... moving stuff I can tell ya, every port in the UK had a British war ship in situ with guns pointing land-ward, army and police on the streets and the aristocracy "sooting" up just in case the revolution came (9 years previous the Russian Revolution had taken place, nasty affair, lots of very angry people and all that stuff).

So, I had to have another pint and began thinking of all the struggles people had been through for me to have my vote.... I was stirred up, I was determined to make my mark (ie, a cross on the ballot paper).

I waddled off to the polling station and got my voting paper..... I was shocked..... normally, there's about a dozen candidates on there, the three main parties, a few independents and a handful of nutters but this time there was only two! I even looked about my feet in case I'd dropped part of the voting paper but no..... there was only two on there........

And guess what, they were Conservative and Liberal.... thats it, no more. As far as I'm concerned thats not a choice.......

So, being the mature responsible adult I am........ a drew a huge cock on the ballot paper.

I toyed with the idea of staying up all night just so I could catch Jonathon Dimbleby announce the results for the Runnymede and Weybridge ward.... "....and results just in for Runnymede and Weybridge.... Conservatives 106,452...... Liberals 24,901...... and one feck-off huge hand-drawn cock"

RESULTS: Conservatives got in again..... heres to more empty office blocks and Luxury housing.... feckers.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

That has made my day, I laughing me man boobs off here Well Done Dave Goober.

Delmonti said...

There's probably only me & thee who understand all this shite I keep spewing forth..... I dunno, but I do appeciate it when you reply.... it's good to know that some people understand my kinda humour.... and its a bit tongue in cheek at times.

Anonymous said...

My God you really did it? I thought you were messin! :o)

Nice one :oD

chux said...

you said it about 7 times on Friday but it didn't sink in. I thought you were 'just showing off'. Obviously I was wrong and you created a new ' Monster Girthy Cock Party'.

Well done on your originality! 1) Next time perhaps try tracing for a laugh. 2) Can you imagine the vote counters faces?? especially as they will be Weybridge-ites with their noses in the air!!!

meljoy said...

LMAO, when I read the title, i thought you meant someone ELSE did it, haha, obviously not! I think if more people did that here, maybe the liberals would win for once. eh... yea, we have fucking retard conservatives running our quickly failing country too. Just be thankful that george bush isn't your prime minister... He deserves a cock or three...