I dream of work....

Sorry about the rain......

It's my fault. It always pisses down when I have to take the bike in for a service.....

Live people ignore the strange and unusual

What the hell am I doing here? Sometimes it's like I've woken from a twelve year coma… colostomy bag fitted and unable to walk due to muscle wastage….. a dribbling idiot, unable to quit describing something that should of stopped a few badly constructed sentences ago.

I think I'm having withdrawal symtoms from Antihistermines..... I got an itch inside my bladder I just cant reach.

Better days?

Sometimes, you look within yourself to find the right kind of words to give the people you love. I was never gifted enough to express the kind of emotion I feel, thats why all my heros are musicians.....

Lyrics and music are my emotions. They have the ability to speak in volumes what I feel and want to say. The following fits with Who I Am and Where I want To Be.... right now.

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive

Goo Goo Dolls: Better Days

Near 40 year old draws cock on ballot paper.....

Yes I know, it's not big and its not clever...... but it is.... me.

Yesterday was Local Elections day, a day when you get to vote for the person you want in control at the local council offices.

Normally, I don't like to vote as it just encourages them (politicians that is), but it was sunny and I could pop into the pub on the way.... I would need a few pints to put me in the mood.

So, I sit down with a pint of Landlord and begin reading a piece in the Express about the General Strike that took place 80 years ago to the day.... moving stuff I can tell ya, every port in the UK had a British war ship in situ with guns pointing land-ward, army and police on the streets and the aristocracy "sooting" up just in case the revolution came (9 years previous the Russian Revolution had taken place, nasty affair, lots of very angry people and all that stuff).

So, I had to have another pint and began thinking of all the struggles people had been through for me to have my vote.... I was stirred up, I was determined to make my mark (ie, a cross on the ballot paper).

I waddled off to the polling station and got my voting paper..... I was shocked..... normally, there's about a dozen candidates on there, the three main parties, a few independents and a handful of nutters but this time there was only two! I even looked about my feet in case I'd dropped part of the voting paper but no..... there was only two on there........

And guess what, they were Conservative and Liberal.... thats it, no more. As far as I'm concerned thats not a choice.......

So, being the mature responsible adult I am........ a drew a huge cock on the ballot paper.

I toyed with the idea of staying up all night just so I could catch Jonathon Dimbleby announce the results for the Runnymede and Weybridge ward.... "....and results just in for Runnymede and Weybridge.... Conservatives 106,452...... Liberals 24,901...... and one feck-off huge hand-drawn cock"

RESULTS: Conservatives got in again..... heres to more empty office blocks and Luxury housing.... feckers.

Sequent Computer Systems: Lobbing it in the bin.

Ah yes, I can hear it now...... "hell man, I used to work there!" and "hell man, they cant do that" and "hell man, haven't they dumped all that crap by now"

Whatever your thoughts, the old IS Computer room in Weybridge will be cleared out this week, to make room for a small coconut grove and putting green.

So I thought I'd take a few bad quality photos on my phone and post them up. I've stuck them on Flickr so you can add "witty" notes yourselves... and maybe even remind me what those off-white boxes were called and used for.

If you have no idea what I'm on about then thats fine, just bugger off and go look at porn or something


Click on the image below to wizz off to Flickr and have a butchers at the photos.

Self Help

In 1882 Samuel Smiles (great surname) in his book "Self Help" declared:

"that nothing creditable can be accomplished without application and diligence, that we must not be daunted by difficulties, but conquer them by patience and perseverance, and that, above all, we must seek elevation of character"

...you would not believe it... I've just had to type this out TWICE as I accidently deleted the first post.... I think someOne, somewhere, is trying to tell me something.

It's just not a good quote without something being conquered*

*PT....please refrain from any horse chestnut related conker jokes..... and dont ask how I knew you were thinking of them, I just know these things.

Thankyou Ms Moore!

Yes, cheers Jo!

On your recommendation I took my little fruitloop off to Wakehurst Place on Saturday.... and it was great. But as usual with crap Dads I didn't plan ahead and forgot to ask her mum to pack some wet or cold weather stuff.... and it was bloody cold, but we endured and enjoyed a little.



In fact, I decided to join the National Trust there and then.... I think it may come in handy as I can now get free entry to hundreds of stately homes without pretending to be Rose from Upstairs Downstairs....... I've even got a car sticker which gives me free parking on top of windy hills in the middle of nowhere.....

I can hardly wait!