Friday, October 05, 2007

New leg on the cards!


Folks, it's getting closer.... I can almost smell that tell tail copper tang that gives away the spillage of claret.
Yesterday I had a consultation with the head chopper cropper in Hip replacement surgery. Top bloke if a little self assured about his chosen profession.
There's no getting away from it, surgeons are not normal people.

Most people who show an overly keen interest in slicing into unconscious humans usually end up being dramatized in an ITV Tuesday night special and having to answer to 21 stone "Maureen" in the men's showers at the Big House

Fortunately for me, this fella decided to get some medical qualifications and keep the crossed-out stick men on the bonnet of his car to a minimum.

So, the plan is for me to have a Birmingham Hip Replacement, also known as Hip Resurfacing sometime in November of this year. (Birmingham eh! Seems that a lot of troubles in my life have been solved by things from Birmingham..... you know who you are!)



I'm still waiting on the insurance company's approval....... (long pause)

BASTARDS!

Sorry..... I have a mental image of some Standard Life rep bent over my policy attempting to find the medieval small print that denies a payout due to whistling on Tuesdays.

No.... I'm sure it'll be fine.

So, there's a lot of compromises I've gotta except if this all goes ahead.... I'm not too worried about the Op or the pain, its the after care and not being able to drive to pick up Em that's gonna be the killer.

4-8 weeks off work and not being able to do normal things...... hmmm.

Still, the outlook is fairly good, by Feb '08 I could be completely fixed!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have the Pressure Jet Wash bay 1 reserved for ya up at the Total Garage mate (£3 For 5 mins) - as long as ya can get into me new car..... :o)

petercmoore said...

Is that a false hip? It looks more like a Shure SM58 microphone...

Do ask the quack to make sure you don't emut feedback as you walk around!

chux said...

Ha ha - jet wash ya now thats a thought -part of me likes that idea for the comedy value the other part doesnt want to see you naked under any circumstances. I dont care if you're a veg and need the help to clean yourself.

All said mate, thats great news! I guess you are scared whitless about it all but think about this time next year it'll be just a memory.

nice one ya bong!

Delmonti said...

PT: it looks more like a satellite dish to me... I wound emit feedback but I will set off the metal detectors in airports

Chux: ....but you told me I looked fantastic naked!

Chris said...

Good luck, Dave - I really hope it all gets sorted for you.

Anonymous said...

This is good news! Once you've got past the recovery period you are gonna be a totally new man! Those are weird looking things, metal? How come it doesn't rust?

Anonymous said...

Good luck mate.

If you want owt just ask.
Picking up Em.
Drinking buddy.
Drugs!

Drink down the BV in order.
Martin the landlord had his done a couple of years ago (and he says the best thing he ever did).

We are gonna climb that mountain next year.

Ciao, P.

Anonymous said...

Go for it Dave f@$k the pain just think about the pain it's given you up to now.... Goober.

jomoore said...

Great news, Dave - the end of your pain is nigh. You will play the piano again...!