Management intervention saves the day
HEADLINES: Impending flood at HAL Weybridge office averted by management intervention.
The Environment Agency issued a "very possible....... probably, you never know" flood alert within the Weybridge/Addlestone area. Businesses within the area should "do something or other" to prevent things getting damp, moist or just plain wet.
In response, HAL management convened an emergency meeting at its Weybridge Offices to decide on what should be done about the flood warnings
The plans revealed by its spokesperson involves several senior managers standing at the banks of the Wey Navigation, pointing and instructing the flood waters to cease its advancement and return to the hills from whence it came.
"Operation King Canute will deliver results that are in-line with our business model and will achieve double-digit flood reduction" said a spokesperson.
When asked why the operation had been named after a legendary 11th century King who failed to turn back the tide the spokesman replied "we think the King had the perfect answer, hence the adoption of the name, he failed [King Canute] because he wasn't an "Officer Of The Company" and therefore didn't have the necessary authority"
The spokesperson then added.
"Expectations for success of Operation King Canute are extremely high but should the Operation fail we will instigate our contingency plan which includes a DSG (designated scapegoat), a large sweeping brush and an already lumpy carpet.
10 comments:
How sad to learn that management sucks everywhere.
I nearly choked on my sausage.
Are certain levels provided automatically with a boat parking space and a golden raft paddled by two maidens from the puddle filled car park to the sanctuary of there window seat. Obviously the request for said boat was typed up by the same maidens.
Anon: I have reason to believe that the correct Change Request was issued well in advance, but I'm unsure at the moment whether or not Business or Implementation approval was granted. We may have to introduce a Continual Improvement Program in line with current ITIL recommendations.
pt: I do hope the sausage in question was enveloped within a bap and not some contortionist's trick involving removal of spinal disks.
If only there was a PowerPoint deck to illustrate this post...
very good - i'm impressed that you can speak so many languages including IBM-B (you decide on what the extra B means)
I think you will be ok, apparently the dingy attachment is standard on the Ghia Fiesta and above. I knew that extra 5k went somewhere!
Stay afloat fella, all the best and good post
btw Jo
Whats a Powerpoint 'deck'? You can tell I dont get asked to do presentations cant you. Apparenly its because of the stains on my trousers. I keep telling them the washing gets attacked by snails.
sorry that is so gross
A deck is what all the bright young management things are calling Powerpoint presentations these days. Well, they do here, anyway.
I use it ironically, of course... ;o)
If my Dad's sister put together a powerpoint presentation, would that be "Aunt and Deck"?
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