Briefly
Quickly barman, the worlds about to end
- Emily's 7th birthday bowling party was a hoot and everyone enjoyed themselves.
- My sister, niece and nephew weren't nearly as obnoxious as I thought they would of been
- I have no idea where Belgium is
- I have a new hoover
- Everyone at work thinks I'm a c**t, but the voices in my head tell me different.
- I'm riding to Belgium at the weekend
- I ate 8 Nobbly Bobbly's on Sunday
- Bleach can un-stain a stained sink
- My lavatory cant handle large amounts of human waste
- The gene that helps you understand a foriegn language was chemically removed from me at an early age by applying light machine oil to the underarms
9 comments:
I hate to point out that item numbers 3 and 6 are mutually incompatible...
Nice to hear about a new hoover though. My Mum bought us a new one when we moved house (though she did murder our old one!) and it's very nice, but not a Dyson.
What is nobbly bobbly, I'm jealous of your new vacuum and Belgium is somewhere around Germany isn't it?
pt: No they are not, as I've not idea how to get there. I do know I need to travel on the Eurotunnel, after that it's a mystery as the pixies who live in the little telly on my bike tell me where to go.
kat: Nobbly Bobbly is an ice lolly, forzen chocolate center with "hundreds and thousands" sprinkled all over.....and a hint of cocaine or heroin or maybe nicotine. whatever it is its addictive
Actually, it's not a new hoover it's a new vacuum cleaner called Dyson.
And Peter is a big liar. I didn't murder their old cleaner it committed suicide when faced with the copious amounts of long hair left on the floors by the previous owner of their new house. And anyway I gave them that one too so I could do what I liked with it. And another thing - if he wants a Dyson (just because you've now got one probably), he can save up and buy one.
Chris: Quite right, vacuum cleaner is the correct term but I feel that the only people who object to calling it a hoover are other vacumme cleaner manufacturers....
So I thought I'd stick to the "peoples choice" and call it what it is..... even if it does say Dyson on the side of it.
Kids eh! who'd have 'em?
Good luck finding Belgium! How will you know when you're there, though?
I call my Dyson a hoover. And I also use hoover as a verb - I hoover, he hoovers, they hoover. (But I don't know who he or they are, because I always end up doing the Dysoning...)
Dawson's guide to trying out new vacuum/hoover/dyson:
1.Wait till lodger is suitably asleep after working nights (drug with additional Rhohypnol if required).
2. Unpack and assemble Dyson and hoover entire lounge,especially near dividing wall so he'll hear you. (Turn appliance on and off a few times to make sure)
3. Remove cardboard packing to waste disposal area outside and shout "COCK" "BELL END" and various other profanities on the way outside (make sure you bash against my bedroom door on the way out for added realism)....
4. Say the flat attacked you and MADE you hoover up when questioned about it some hours later.
Top stuff Mr D :o) - the air in the flat since your swaree to la Belgique has been reminiscent of a Swiss mountain range and several branches of Drain Doctor have now ceased trading due to the toilet not being blocked so often......
Dear Podge:
1. Never leave man-toys out when expecting to sleep.
2. Number one sounds rude in so many ways but it isnt honest.
3. The lavatory bowl in this flat was never designed to handle big mans jobbies. It was obviously installed for the use of women or rabbits.
Well Well this where you've all been then !!!
So its like this - First you've quoted from HitchHikers Guide to the Galaxy at the start of this post which means you've got my attention.
I see Podge is as happy as ever! Does that make you Rodge? The likeness is uncanny.
Drains and stuff, well i'm sure the west Weybridge waste disposal and sewage squad are glad for the time off whilst you were away in Belgium.
Did you meet Hercule Poirot perchance? What about the chocolate? Is it any good? Do they do chocolate Poirot figures as I think thats about all the fame Belgium has in the world.
Nobbly Bobblys are lush! A tasty variation is the FAB bar if you cant find a Nobbly to nibble!
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