One in a million....

Bill Oddie

Once again I have been stunned by my managers ability and talent. For instance, just the other day I was informed of his somewhat hidden talent of mimicking the calls of wild birds.....

sometimes, in meetings, you'd swear there was a tit in the room with you.

Royston Vasey

I read a book!

Actually I read a lot of books.... well I try to read a lot of books, it just that most of the ones I get my hands on tend to be pointless drivel that have me wishing for temporary blindness (just about anything to do with Stephen King comes to mind)

Anyhow, I was in Tesco's a few weeks ago and came across Roy "Chubby" Brown's autobiography, it had a tenner knocked off so I thought I'd give it a go... especially as he's done a lot of his growing up in the North East.

Now, if you haven't heard of Chubby Brown its probably best that you just move on, he isn't for you, especially if you are southern or female or just so stuck up your own arse you'll complain at anything just so you can hear your own voice..... there are exceptions to this rule, but tend to be few and far between.

Chubbs is a comedian, a northern comedian. He specialises in "blue" comedy and lobs in the odd song along the way..... and this is the reason you probably haven't seen him, he does not do telly but does do a roaring trade in DVD's of his shows.

Anyhow, his book is a damn good read and tracks his life from childhood to the present day. It follows his home life and career and documents his battle with cancer.

So, I read the book in record time and decided to send Chubbs an e-mail telling him how much I enjoyed his book..... and now my e-mail is part of his marketing! How bloody great is that!

I'm off to see him live soon, should be a hoot

Being 6....

There's a ton of stuff that's great about being six.

Six has to be one of the best ages to be, if I could have it all again, I'd like it to start at six.

Love for a start is unconditional, no matter what size shape colour or creed your parents are, you just love them.

Emotions are something to be tried on like dressing up clothes whenever the fancy takes you..... especially in Tesco's

Flying around the dinner table pretending to be a Spitfire/Fire Engine/Ballerina is considered perfectly normal as is pushing your whole head into a bowl of custard.... both of which I have urges to do on a regular basis (not too keen on the ballerina one tho')

Falling asleep in mid conversation.... although I have to confess this is something I still do, especially when confronted on issues like football, fashion or Tivoli

Asking the meaning of swear words, its starts at 6 and continues throughout life.

Finding inventive new ways of not having to wash or clean your teeth

Best of all tho': all problems can be overcome by a hug from mam or dad

My little fruitloop has reminded me how fantastic life can be, if only we could stay 6 forever...

Shut up ya girl

my manager couldnt find his own arse with both hands

Gerry Anderson is innocent

Steve Irwin: Self professed "Crocodile Hunter" died during filming.

I'm no fan of this fella, I just feel for his two children who now have to grow up without a father.

I've got nothing against wildlife conservation, and I too love wildlife documentaries, but there's a breed of presenter out there now that is taking the piss..... and one of them was Mr Irwin.

You didn't have to be the sharpest tool in the shed to work out where his career was heading, it was only a matter of time before Mr Irwin rediscovered the true meaning of "Dangerous" & "Wild" when pissing around with these animals.

Some say Mr Irwin taught us a lot about wild animals...... I don't think he did, I already know that snakes, crocodiles, lions, tigers, spiders.....(basically, anything that lives in water or in the jungle) and now, Stingray are the main reasons some of us developed larger brains and now live in gated communities and drive around in LandRover Discoveries.

Mr Irwin tried his best to sensationalise these animals by performing stunts, he even involved his month old son at one point. He became famous not for his unrivaled knowledge of these dangerous creatures, but for the guy who "just might get eaten live on TV"


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